Getting Back To Normal
by windwolf-24
Summary: Sequel to Body Dump! Ryan tries to deal with and overcome the pain and emotional scars left by his horrifc ordeal
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Still not the same**

Ryan hadn't slept well in days. Horatio made him take at least two weeks off of work and even more, not wanting to rush him. He told Ryan to take all the time he needed. But by the end of the two weeks, Ryan was nearly going stir crazy. He needed something to occupy himself, to keep his mind off of…

Ever since he had been released from capture, he would toss and turn all night. Now it was beginning to show in his work. He would drink cup after cup of coffee to try and keep himself alert and even resorted to energy drinks. That is what he was finishing off now as he headed to the crime scene in the hummer.

Calleigh was already there when he arrived. He walked down the alley to meet her. She stood over the body taking pictures.

'Hey' He said 'what do we got?'

'Single stab to the chest is all that I can see. Alexx will be able to tell us more when she gets here'

'What about ID?'

'Jane Doe so far' Calleigh answered 'No sign of a purse or wallet on her, but with how's she dressed, I'd be surprised if she didn't have one'

'So you're thinking robbery gone bad?'

'Looks that way. Could you look around and see if you find the purse or wallet? If this is a robbery, maybe her killer ditched it after he took the money. I'll finish up here'

'You're putting me on trash duty?'

'I did get here first' she smiled

'Alright' He grabbed his kit and headed deeper into the alley. He kept looking side to side, but saw nothing. When he reached the first trash can, he pulled out a pair of gloves. He easily slid on the one on his left hand, but he took his time with the right. He still kept a light bandage to protect it. Ten days of antibiotics had stopped the infection, but it didn't help with the sting that was there when he touched it, nor did the painkillers he was prescribed to help with his ribs. Unfortunately, he knew that with the nasty cut he had, it could last a while.

The first can turned up nothing and either did the one on the opposite side of the alley. Making his way down, he checked every can and only made a discovery at the last one. Inside, he found a bill fold. He took his camera and took a few pictures before he pulled it out.

'Found something' He called to Calleigh 'Pink Bill fold' He opened it 'Our Vic's name is Allison Burns. No credit, or debit card in here. No money either. Looks like you might be right about that robbery.'

Inside one of the folds, Ryan also found a small bloodied knife, most likely the murder weapon. Usually CSIs can imagine out what happened to the victim, but in this case Ryan's thoughts flashed back not to a possible scenario, but to his own personal experience.

-xxx-

Ryan was freezing from the water that Steve had dumped on him. His body was shivering.

'You know what else they do to you in prison, Ryan?' Steve told him 'They mark you. I got my mark and now its time for you to get yours' He said as he pulled out his knife and grabbed Ryan's hand….

-xxx-

He looked down at his hand. He hoped that it wouldn't scar. He was already trying to get rid of the memories of his ordeal and it wouldn't help if he had to look at the cut going across the palm of his hand everyday. He was still lost in his thoughts as he didn't hear Calleigh come up behind him.

'Ryan?'

Ryan jumped, extremely startled.

'Sorry, It's just me' Calleigh apologized

'It's ok; it's just that um… last time someone snuck up behind me like that I was kidnapped, but no big deal. Found what is probably the murder weapon' He changed the subject back the crime scene.

'How are you doing?' Calleigh took the opportunity to ask

'Fine, fine. You know I'm still a little sore here and there, but other than that I'm alright'

'You sure? Cause you really went through a terrible thing Ryan. If it were me, I'm pretty sure I'd still be quite shaky'

'Yeah, well I'm fine' Ryan put the billfold and knife into evidence bags and sealed them. 'Do you mind waiting for Alexx? I'll get this back to the lab and run DNA and prints'

'Ah…sure. I'll see you at the post' Calleigh said

'Alright' Ryan turned and started heading to his hummer.

Calleigh watched him walk away. He tried to hide it and pretend he was okay, but she knew Ryan Wolfe well enough to know when something was bothering him.

Ryan tried to keep his head concentrated on the case he was working or at least a little more concentration on the road. One hand gripped the steering wheel tightly; the other was on the gear shift, his fingers tapping away. It was a nervous tick that he often had when he was younger, it usually happened when he was thinking too hard and couldn't get something off his mind, one of the joys of his slight case of OCD. He had learned to control it and hadn't had an attack in a long time. But now he couldn't help it. His mind was only on one thing. He could see Steve's face, devilishly grinning at him. His hellish week flashed through his mind. The kidnapping, the beatings he took, the dead bodies in the room. Ryan took a detour so that he was off the main road. This road wasn't used a lot, he pulled over to the side and took a deep breath, trying to keep it in, but he couldn't. For the first time since his capture, Ryan Wolfe broke down. He slumped over the steering wheel and the tears began to flow. As best as he tried to hide it, Ryan wasn't over what he had been through.

_Hope you guys like it and I hope that it won't be too long before an update. Please Review!!!!_


	2. Back to Work

**Chapter 2: Back to Work **

Ryan rushed into the coroner's office and found Calleigh and Alexx already there waiting for him.

'Nice of you to join us' Alexx told him

'Yeah, what happened to you?' Calleigh asked 'You left before I did and I made it here before you'

'Took a road that I thought would be a shortcut and would you believe it, traffic was terrible. Then I got here, dropped off the things for DNA and prints and got here as soon as I could'

'Alright…' Alexx said 'Let's get started' She began the Y incision and performed the autopsy, telling them her findings as she went along. Ryan occasionally had the sniffles, making Alexx look up several times. She put the victim's clothes and sowed the vic back up. In the end her findings concluded what they had assumed, victim died of a single stab wound to the abdomen.

'Here you go' She handed the clothes to Calleigh

'Thank you Alexx. I will take care of these. Ryan, do you want to work the trace around the wound?'

'Sure, I'll check up on things in DNA and prints and I'll check up with you later'

'Valera's not going to like you rushing her'

'Well, she didn't have much work. Even if, you know she'll just tell me to come back later'

'Thanks Alexx' Calleigh said and headed out of the coroner's office

'Thanks Alexx' Ryan thanked her too and started heading out

'Ryan, honey? Can I talk to you for a second?'

'Sure what's up?'

'I'd ask you the same question. You were driving me crazy with your sniffling'

'Sorry about that'

'And your eyes are red too. Are you feeling okay?'

'They are? I didn't know. Woke up with a bit of a runny nose this morning. Guess I must be coming down with something. Late nights and early mornings will do that to you'

'Well come here' Alexx motioned to come to her side of the table

'What?'

'You heard me, I said come here' Alexx repeated

Ryan did as he was told and stood before Alexx who put her hand on his forehead

''what are you…?'

'Not only am I a mother, but I'm also a doctor. No sign of a fever' She began to examine him 'throat is not swollen and say ahh...nice and pink. Eyes are now nice and clear. I see no sign of you getting sick sweetie'

'Well that's good news, means that I can keep working. Thanks Alexx' He started heading out

'Ryan' she called to him 'I know that it must be hard coming back to work after what you've been through. I f you ever need to talk…'

'Thanks Alexx' He smiled and left

-xxx-

Ryan stepped into the print lab and found Eric working.

'Hey, Welcome Back' Eric said when he saw him

'Good to be back. Two weeks off was nice, but I'm glad to be back at work'  
'Yeah it must be more fun than just slumping down at your apartment'

'I do have a life Eric'

'If you say so' Eric said 'but…' he asked 'how are you doing?'

Ryan could tell by his change in tone exactly what Eric was referring to

'I'm fine' Ryan put it simply

'I don't know if I'd be able to come back to work as fast as you'

'Karen seems to think that it's because I'm stubborn. She may be right'

'How is she anyway?'

'She's good… and engaged Delko'

'I know that Wolfe can't I just ask?' Eric smiled

'Well she's doing well. Calls me nearly every day to ask me how I am and tell me about the wedding plans. They have their date now, the reception hall…She's so excited….So what are you working on?'

Prints, that I lifted off the car where my victim was murdered'

'Oh…your victim, your scene. I thought we do them in order?'

'Yeah, in the order I want' Eric laughed 'it's called patience Wolfe. Why don't you go see Valera, see if she any results?'

'Well I figured that it as safer coming to see you first then rushing her'

'You're probably right about that. Well I'm finished running mine through AFIS and now I will get to work on yours'

'Thanks, Mind if I wait?'

'Would you leave even if I asked you to?'

'No'

Eric started to work on lifting the prints off the knife that Ryan had brought. A few seconds in thee was a knock on the window. There was Horatio and as soon as Ryan met his eyes, he knew that he wanted to talk to him. He went out to join him in the hallway.

'Nice to have you back with us Mister Wolfe' Horatio greeted him

'Good to be back H'

'How's your first day back?'

'Alright, just getting back into the swing of things'

'Now I know that you probably feel that you don't need this, but its department policy. You will need to see the department psychiatrist'

'Come on H, I don't need to see a shrink'

'You had one evaluation to let you come back Mister Wolfe, but policy requires that you continue to be evaluated to see if you're still fit to work'

'Make sure I don't screw up right?'

'I don't doubt your abilities at all Mister Wolfe, unfortunately they don't feel the same. So you have your first appointment tomorrow morning before your shift. And please, don't let me hear that you didn't show'

'I'll try not to let you down' Ryan said

'You never have Mister Wolfe and I know you never will' Horatio said and continued on his way

-xxx-

The next day Ryan stood in front of the office to the department's psychiatrist. He had considered several times not coming, but remembering what Horatio had told him made him come. Now all he had to do was knock. Thoughts started to run through his head. Often people didn't want to see shrinks because they figured they didn't need them, but Ryan knew better than that now. The real reason why people never wanted to go was because they didn't want to face their fears, talk about what they had gone through when all they wanted to do was forget. But there was no turning back now…Ryan took a deep breath and knocked.

_So Sorry that it took so long to update!!! Thank you so much for the reviews that I got already. I know how much you want this story updated and I promise the next time won't take as long. Keep the reviews Coming!!! Enjoy!!!!_


	3. The Appointment

**Chapter 3: The Appointment **

Ryan slowly opened the door and saw a man sitting behind a large rectangular desk, writing away. He had short brown hair and glasses. When he was done writing, he lifted his head to see who had come into his office.

``You must be Ryan Wolfe. Come on in`` he gestured

Ryan entered and shut the door behind him while the doc stood up and came to meet him.

``Pleasure to meet you Ryan. I'm Doctor Evans``

``Nice to meet you Doc``

``Please`` He gestured for Ryan to take a seat on one of the chairs in front of the desk.

Dr. Evans went back behind his desk, closed the file on his desk and pulled out another one from his drawer.

''So how are things? ``

``Fine, just getting back into routine of work``

``Did you find that hard at all? ``

``Why would it be? ``

``Well you were gone for almost a month. You were kidnapped for a week, a few days in the hospital and then two weeks recovery. It must have been awkward to just go back to work one day``

``I was glad to. I've never been one to just sit at home and do nothing``

``You enjoy the fact that work preoccupies you and then your mind is on that instead of other thing... ?``

``And I suppose that you mean that it helps me not think about the fact that I was kidnapped, tortured and almost killed? ``

``well does it? ``

Ryan sighed ``Look, every CSI has their own personal matters. The important thing is that they keep those matters separate from work. Each deals with his own problems in their own way``

``But, you can't deny the fact that quite often those personal matters do stumble into the work place. And in this case Mister Wolfe, we are not talking about very CSI, but just one...you and how you deal with those personal matters``

``Like I said, each deals with it in his own way. I'm taking care of it``

``Have you ever tried talking to someone instead of just dealing by yourself? ``

``Actually no`` Ryan said sternly ``I just want to go on with my life and forget that it happened. That's exactly why I didn't want to come here and start talking about it in detail again. I told you I'm fine and I am. So take my word for it``

He got up from his chair and headed for the door. His hand had just reached the knob when the doctor spoke.

``I'm sure that your boss feels differently about the talking. You should know that I have a duty to report to him on how this meeting went...Now we have five required meetings Mister Wolfe and based on how those go I can either stop it there or recommend more. That is entirely up to you. Just to be sure that you understand the seriousness of it I will remind you again that Lieutenant Caine has requested a progress report as those meetings progress``

Ryan stood at the door hesitating, as the doctor sat silently behind his desk. Ryan was still c ose to leaving but Doctor Evans words had hit him hard. The promise that he made to Horatio came back to mind. After a few long seconds, Ryan slowly went and sat back down.

``I know that it will be hard Mister Wolfe. Many people feel just as you do. All they want to do is forget and erase it from their minds. Lieutenant Caine felt the same way. When the team lost Tim Speedle, he didn't come to see my predecessor right away, but eventually he saw the necessity of it. And I hope that with time...you'll feel the same way.

Ryan took a deep breath ``Alright, let's get started``

-xxx-

Ryan walked out of the doctor's office. Even though he didn't think that it could happen, but he did feel a little better. He started heading back to the crime lab. When he got there he found Eric waiting for him at the entrance.

''H said that you wouldn't be long. He's with Calleigh and you're with me. Grab your kit and meet me at the hummer''

Ryan grabbed his kit and headed for the locker room. He opened his and took out some gauze and tape and sat down on the bench. He undid the wrap that was already around his hand. It had been a month and he knew that he probably didn't have to cover it anymore, but being a crime scene investigator and having a small case of OCD, he didn't take any chances. The other members of the team teased that he was mainly doing it because of his OCD. That was a factor Ryan admitted, but the real reason, he kept to himself. The real reason was that, he couldn't look at it. Every time he saw the scar all he could think about was how he got it. That led him to think about his horrific week and that was the last thing he wanted on his mind especially at work.

He finished up his new wrapping and went outside. Eric was waiting in the hummer at the entrance.

''So how did it go this morning?'' Eric asked as they were driving towards the crime scene

''Pretty good, we talked about a few things, nothing specific yet''

''He didn't declare you insane?'' Eric smiled

''Not yet'' Ryan laughed ''Looks like it's going to take more than one visit for him to realize that''

''When's your next appointment?'' Eric asked

''Three weeks. He said that it will give me enough time to really see if my work is affected or not by...you know''

''Well you're tough Wolfe, I'm sure you'll be able to handle it''

''Yeah, But there's a few people that still need a little convincing''

''You know it never hurts to talk about these things'' Eric told him

''Oh please...not you too'' Ryan scoffed

I don't expect you to pour out your heart to me, but if ever you do want to talk, I'm there for you man''

''Thanks Eric''

Ryan knew that he had his friends behind him. Now he had started his meetings with Doctor Evans, Ryan knew that he was on his way to recovery and getting on his life.

-xxx-

_I am so sorry that it took so long for me to get this chapter up. I know that a lot of you were getting impatient and told me to update. Well I gotta tell you that your reviews_

_got me motivated to update and if they keep coming I will try my hardest to get the next chapter up A.S.A.P Please Review and hope that it was worth the wait!!!!!_


	4. Not Again

**Chapter 4: Not Again **

When you're trying to get over such a dramatic event, everything is different. Some days are better then others, while some are pure hell. Today was one of those days. Ryan didn't know how he managed to get through the whole day. Horatio had offered to let him go home, but that was the last thing he wanted. Like he had told Dr. Evans, work kept his mind off of his ordeal while if he went home all he would have to do is replay it over and over again.

Ryan slowly entered his apartment and shut the door behind him. He leaned against it and took a deep breath, thankful to be home. He noticed that the light on his answering machine was blinking; he took off his jacket and hit the button. There were two messages; one was from Dr. Evans reminding him of his appointment next week, the other was his parents Philip and Judith checking up. But, this wasn't the time for him to call back. If his parents, especially his mom, found out what happened today, they'd be on the first flight out. It isn't that he wouldn't appreciate having them, but he didn't want to worry them. He knew though that he did want to talk to someone. Ryan picked up the phone and dialled, it rang twice before someone picked up.

'Hello?' A female voice answered

'Hey Pup' Ryan said

'Howl!' Karen exclaimed 'How's it going?'

'I'm alright. How about you? Still busy planning?

'Like you wouldn't believe' Karen started 'You don't know how busy and crazy it is to plan a wedding until you have to plan your own. There's the hall, decorations, cake, invitations and of course my dress, but my mom has been such a big help'

'That's good'

'Howl, is something wrong?'

'No, no everything's fine'

'Don't lie to me Ryan. I can tell there's something; I hear it in your voice. Please tell me what's wrong'

Ryan had been trying to keep it in since the beginning, but he couldn't anymore. He sat down on his sofa and took a deep long breath. 'Today was…a pretty… bad day' Ryan said, his voice breaking

'It's alright, just take your time' Karen said

'It started off well…'

-xxx-

Ryan and Eric arrived at the crime scene. This was the third house fire in two weeks. The team had found evidence of foul play at the first two, the work of an arsonist. Ryan and Eric were expecting to find more evidence of foul play at this scene as well. This house was lucky; it wasn't a total loss like the other two were.

'What do we got?' Eric asked one of the cops on the scene

'Same thing as before. Fire started in one of the bedrooms and living room'

'Who called it in?'

'Owners did, they were home when it started. They were in the master bedroom packing for the family vacation. They were supposed to leave tomorrow.

'What about the vehicles?' Ryan asked

'Son and daughter were gone with one and the other is in the shop'

'Thanks' they headed towards the house

'Well it fits the M.O' Ryan said 'Two story house, fire started in the same places. Only this time it didn't completely go up in smoke, if you know what I mean'

'The prep probably thought no one was home just like at the other two houses. No car in the driveway and no noise in the house'

'So where do you want to start?'

'I'll take the living room and you can take the bedroom' Eric decided

'Alright, I'll catch up with you later'

They both took their kits and headed their separate ways. Eric stayed downstairs and Ryan headed upstairs.

Arson cases are among the most difficult scenes to process because not only does the fire destroy your evidence, but the firefighters aren't much help either. CSIs had to take their time to make sure that they didn't miss anything. Ryan had been in the bedroom for about an hour, shifting through the debris and had found what he was looking for, the point of origin. The arsonist like in the other cases had started the fire in the closet on the other side of the room away from the door. Ryan took out his camera, knelt down and started photographing his find. Not long after he heard the door to the room creak open behind him.

'You find anything in the living room?' Ryan asked, taking for granted that it was Eric coming to check up on his progress. No answer came.

''Eric?' He turned to see what his fellow CSI was up to. Instead, to his surprise he was met with a hard blow to the side of the face. The hit knocked Ryan onto his back. The whole room was spinning. He hadn't been hit that hard since….

Ryan looked up to see a man holding what looked to be a red gas tank in his hand. Instinctively, Ryan reached for his service pistol. Seeing what he was doing, the man went to Ryan's side to grab the weapon first. Ryan tried to break the grip he had on the pistol, but was met with another hit to the face. His attacker removed the gun from the holster and pointed it at Ryan. Memories came flooding back, Ryan could see Steve Dawson pointing the gun right at him ready to pull the trigger and end the seven days of hell he had been through.

'This is my work' The man started 'and like the others times I was supposed to watch this place completely burn! But no! The owners had to be in the house and ruin everything. Well I'm an artist and I can't stop until my work is completed and this time I'm going to make sure that it is'

Keeping the gun trained on Ryan, the unknown attacker began pouring out gasoline on the bed

'So what are you planning to do?' Ryan asked 'Burn the place down with us still in it?'

'You do catch on quickly don't you?' The Man laughed 'I can just see the headlines now _'Great Arsonist finishes the job and takes a member of the M.D.P.D with it_' No one is going to forget that'

Ryan could tell that his guy was delusional, a pyromaniac who just wanted to see stuff burn. He thought he could work with that.

'Yeah, but if you're in here when this place goes up in smoke….literally, you won't be able to see the beauty of it burning. And then the fun is over for good, no more torching, no more artwork. Do you really want that to happen?'

'I do like to watch' The man said, the gun still pointed at Ryan 'I mean setting stuff on fire and watching them burn is where I get my thrills. It's so exciting and beautiful'  
'You see, you love it too much to let it stop here. So let's just put the gun down, we'll go outside and find something else for you to burn, so you can watch'

'That would be fun, but I told you that I'm an artist and I need to see my work completed and that's what I'm going to do!' He came up beside Ryan and hit him hard on the head with his gun. Once again, Ryan was sent onto his back, but this hit did a lot more damage, he could feel himself wanting to lose consciousness.

His assailant lit a match from his pocket 'And I still like the idea of adding a police officer to my work. It's that pizzazz that I need to keep the people's interest' He flung the match onto the bed and left. Instantly the gas ignited, starting to turn the room into a fire chamber once again. Ryan knew he had to get out fast and warn the others. He turned onto his stomach and tried to get up, still dazed from the hit he had just taken. Was that a ringing in his ears that he was hearing? No, he realized it was the upstairs fire alarm; the smoke had crept out into the hallway and had set it off again.

'Wolfe?' He heard Eric's voice from downstairs

Ryan got to his feet and stumbled out of the room 'Eric!'

Eric looked up and saw the smoke coming from behind his fellow CSI. He rushed up the stairs and found Wolfe staggering 'What happened?' He asked as he put one of Ryan's arms around his shoulder to help.

'Suspect came back…we need to get out of here, this place is going up again'

Eric grabbed his radio and sounded to alarm to the other officers that were around. Once he and Wolfe were outside, he also radioed fire and rescue.

'You alright?' Delko asked Ryan

'I'm alright, nothing a little ice wouldn't help'

'Well we're going to have to get you checked up at the hospital anyway; you're bleeding from that shot to the head'

'I don't want to make a big deal about it, please'

'Don't start playing tough guy; I know another event like this can't be easy on you so soon after…'

'I know Eric; let's not bring that up shall we? I'll go to the hospital, get checked and come back to work'

'If H let's you'

Ryan sighed. He couldn't believe it. How could this happen again so soon? Hadn't he been through enough? He had to convince Horatio to let him keep working. Just sitting on the back of the hummer, his mind was racing with images of his capture again. He tried his best to fight them back. One thing he didn't want to do was break down again, especially in front of Eric. He knew that if he went home it would be even worse

_How could this happen again so soon? _Thatwas the question racing through Ryan Wolfe's mind.

-xxx-

Ryan felt better after talking to Karen. It felt good to let some of the emotions he was feeling out. He knew that his sister was always there for him, family always was. Then it hit him, what was the team to him, but an extended family. Alexx was like a second mother to him and he looked to Horatio as a sort of father figure. Then there was Eric and Calleigh, they had all been there for him. They came through for him by saving him from Steve; they were by his side when he was in the hospital and now, through his recovery, they were there for him once again. It was like Dr. Evans had said he didn't have to face his demons alone. Ryan knew that he had the best chances of getting past this, with a lot o help from his family and friends.


End file.
